Kicking goals and engineering a lifestyle you love is obviously the goal, right? For you, your goals might be around fitness, entrepreneurship, or relationship success. The one thing that those different life goals have in common is that they all face a road that is potentially bumpy. Some people are knocked down by challenges, but they return as a stronger person more steadfast than before. Even if the environment you grew up wasn’t ideal to develop resilience, it’s never too late. I honestly believe that. Being resilient is not a personality trait. It’s a dynamic learning process.
A major point in learning resilience is to take a perspective on things. In moments of stress, it might be useful to place your individual situation into a bigger context and grasp its real severity (or lack of).
Overall, people who are resilient might find it easier to exhibit a positive attitude that guides them over the obstacle. With the right feedback and support, we can each work to get better and “fail forward.” It’s not simple, but it gets easier with practice.
An ability to identify and use your signature strengths also plays a big role in resilience-building. When times are tough, it’s easy to lose hope and optimism. Focusing on strengths is a way to throw light on times of darkness and when you take the time to know your strengths – and value them proudly – you do feel a boost of self-confidence that leaves a positive impact.
Consider this quote:
“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.”
–George S. Patton Jr.
People with a challenge perspective view any problem that comes their way as an opportunity for growth. Having a challenge perspective allows people to see their problem as something that has happened “for you” rather than to you.
In some cases, the challenges themselves—especially with hindsight—are actually what provided people with meaning and the passion to persevere. This victor mentality encourages growth, which creates a positive feedback cycle by boosting resilience.
Practice Your ABCs
Described by Martin Seligman, the ABCDE model allows people to deconstruct a specific “problem” and understand how their “beliefs about what happened” caused them to feel a certain way, not the event itself.
This creates a greater level of awareness about our own reactions, so we can work to have the skillsets needed for a healthier response to adversity.
The model is composed of five steps:
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- Adversity
- Beliefs
- Consequences
- Disputation
- Energisation
These steps help build resilience by recognising unfavourable thought patterns, finding the true reason behind the emotions, recognising the negative impact of these emotions, and learning to challenge them. What if every time we analysed a problem, we took less fault personally, and, instead, adopted a lens that promoted growth and commitment to our goals?
By understanding the problem, our beliefs about the problem, the consequences of those beliefs, and the discrepancy between our beliefs and the problem itself, we are likely to feel energised and ready to embrace the next challenge more openly.
Euda is a Coaching Software used by wellbeing experts, coaches and wellbeing managers to support their teams and help build key character strengths and resilience. By incorporating education, insights and support our Coaching Software, helps coaches to deliver results and scale their coaching online. Whether that is positive psychology focused or not, everyone can benefit from coaching in key wellbeing and self development principles.